For many kids and teens, the end of a school break doesn’t just mean earlier alarms and the return of classes and homework. It can bring a surge of anxiety, dread, and “what if” thoughts that feel overwhelming. For students with anxiety or OCD, the return to school can reactivate worries that felt quieter during time off about things like performance, social situations, health, routines, and/or being away from home. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and more importantly, your child isn’t doing anything wrong.
Why the Transition Back Feels So Hard
For some kids, the loss of structure and predictability during school breaks can actually make anxiety or OCD feel more intense. But for many others, school breaks feel like a welcome pause where pressure drops. There may be fewer deadlines, more flexibility in routines, and less exposure to situations that trigger anxiety or OCD. When school starts again, all of those demands come back at once.
Anxiety tends to latch onto transitions. It thrives on uncertainty and change, and the return to school is full of both. For kids with a history of school avoidance, this transition can feel particularly difficult. Thoughts like “What if I can’t handle it?” “What if I mess up?” or “What if something bad happens at school?” can feel urgent and convincing. Anxiety or OCD may ramp up urges to check, avoid, seek reassurance, or mentally review everything that could go wrong.
The (understandable) instinct for many parents is to try to reduce this discomfort as much as possible, often by helping their child avoid the situations causing distress. That response comes from care and protection; the challenge is that avoiding school or other situations that provoke anxiety teaches the brain that it really is dangerous or unmanageable. At InStride Health, we focus on a different message.
Anxiety Is Uncomfortable, Not Unsafe
InStride’s model is built around helping young people learn that they can experience anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or distress and still move forward. The goal is not to eliminate anxious thoughts or feelings before returning to school. Instead, it’s to help young people build confidence in their ability to handle discomfort when it shows up. Rather than asking, “How do we make anxiety go away?” we ask, “How do we help your child live their full life even when anxiety or OCD is along for the ride?”
This shift matters, especially during school transitions. When kids learn that nervous feelings and intrusive thoughts are tolerable and temporary, school stops feeling like something they must escape and starts feeling like something they can practice handling.
What Support Can Look Like at Home
Gently normalize what your child is feeling.
As school approaches, it can help to name and validate what your child is experiencing. Saying things like, “It makes sense that your anxiety (or OCD) is louder right now because your brain isn’t used to this routine anymore,” or “I get why you feel an urge to check your backpack again; transitions make uncertainty feel bigger,” can reduce shame and pressure.
Limit giving excessive reassurance.
Avoid repeatedly promising that everything will be okay. While reassurance can feel comforting in the moment, over time it can keep anxiety and OCD in charge.
Set compassionate boundaries around reassurance-seeking.
If your child continues to seek certainty, you can gently set a boundary by saying, “I’m not going to answer that. I’m not ignoring you; I’m ignoring your anxiety.”
Focus on effort and willingness.
Praise small steps, such as packing a backpack or showing up even when anxious.
Build familiarity with the school environment ahead of time.
If anxiety about the return is particularly high, practicing driving to the school or walking around the building a few days in advance can help the transition feel more familiar.
Re-establish consistent routines before school starts.
Gradually shifting back sleep schedules, meal times, and morning routines can reduce the shock to the system when school begins.
How InStride Providers Help During the Back to School Transition
At InStride, therapists and exposure coaches work closely with kids, teens, and families to prepare for the return to school in a supportive, structured way. Because school avoidance tends to snowball, we prioritize re-entry and getting back into the building and then weave in exposures to specific fears in small, doable steps.
For one student, that might mean practicing sitting with uncertainty about a test grade. For another, it might involve tolerating the feeling that their desk is “contaminated” without washing their hands immediately. The focus is always on building – not forcing – bravery or pushing too fast.
We also help kids connect these challenges to what matters to them. Whether it’s friendships, learning, independence, or future goals, values provide motivation when anxiety or OCD is loud. When a young person understands why showing up to school matters to them personally, it becomes easier to keep going even on hard days.
Moving Forward One Day at a Time
The return to school after break doesn’t have to feel perfect to be successful. Anxiety may spike, OCD rituals may resurface, and tough mornings may happen. Progress is measured by willingness, not comfort.
